Fear of death - or love for life?
Lately I - along with much of the rest of the world it seems - have been especially tuned into the vibration of fear. For vibration is indeed what it is - like a radio, we find channels in which to rest and to some degree it is our choice to allow it into our reality.
I know this to be true, and most of the time my vibration is high, bolstered by gratitude that seems to have the power to shift any mood. I help myself along the way by paying much more attention to the uplifting stories, the positive news, by staying in the present more than the future or past, by trying not to dwell on the potential shortcoming of a situation.
And yet it is this last point that has been catching me more and more. I've had deep loss in my life and it subtly echoes like the ripples of an ancient explosion. My somewhat reckless younger maiden archetype is giving way to the more refined, more cautious mother, and with each deeper love in my life I find myself more actively worried about all the ways I might lose the nucleus of that joy.
The ancient yogis were familiar with this common pitfall also, so much so that they labeled it Abhinivesha, and described it as one of the five obstacles to liberation. I know that the true source of joy is what lies beyond all of this - those captured moments when your mind is clear and the air is sweet and you hear every tiny sound because you are so very present. We may all carry a humanness that comes with its own agenda for a wild and wonderful journey on earth. And underneath that finite human coat is something infinite, something that extends to far beyond the boundaries of what we believe to be true that it unites and merges with all that is. So, in those moments of doubt, it’s our job to call ourselves back and remind ourselves what's actually real.
”Trust in Life's Desire to Live.”
A yogi answer to Fear of Death would be to cherish every moment and coax back your wandering attention as often as possible. Something I would always recommend, for everything. If we are savoring every moment, then when the inevitable endings and transitions come, we can not only know that we made the most of it, but also stay grounded in What Is, rather than the stories and attachments that make death painful.
But the other day, on my bike with the wind in my hair, I received an answer that I like even better than the most obvious "spiritual" response. It is simply this: Trust in Life's Desire to Live.
Even when the wild jungles here in Costa Rica are razed to the ground, tiny shoots come up almost immediately, life clawing for the sky in determination to cover the open earth. Even in the pains of illness, beings will gasp and grip (I once killed a chicken, to know what it really means to eat chicken; it was much, much harder than I imagined). And the joy inside us ultimately all derives from the joy of this infinite self being incarnate. Life wants to live. Life LOVES living. The soul in me wants to be here.
And so rather than focusing on all the possible ways in which my loved ones could leave me, I train my attention to focus on all the reasons they have to live. Yes - both realities co-exist. We can just as equally drop dead tomorrow as we can determinedly survive our falls. So ultimately, the inner world I live in is a choice. One in which I allow fear to be the primary vibration - or, one where I divert my fears into trust.
Trust that I'm making the most of every moment. Trust that no matter what will unfold, I am exactly where I need to be and can thrive. Trust... in life's great love for itself.
JIYA JULIA
Jiya works in the field of self-empowerment, particularly through creative expression, helping people to identify their challenges and fulfill their full potential. A founder of international organization Kula Collective, Jiya offers her retreats around the world.
