Use Your Voice

He gives me my Latte, carefully prepared

I take a sip.

Weak.

I don’t like weak coffee.

I look up at him, full of love.

Think of all those years I would have just taken the coffee

Drunk it and been unsatisfied

“Baby, I appreciate you making this for me so much

And...

Is there any more coffee to add to this?

I love it when it’s strong.”

He looks back at me

Eyes laughing.

Yes, my Queen. 

Yes there is.

Our voice is the transmitter of our inner needs and desires. It is how we project ourselves into the world, translating our thoughts and feelings into words.

Alignment means our thoughts, our actions and our words match. When we say something, it emanates the energy that is within us. There is no hiding, excusing, downplaying or avoiding. There is simply truth.

Truth might be what we feel. It might be a deep emotion, or opinion. But it might also simply be about asking for our coffee how we want it, and not being afraid to ‘put someone out’ in our pursuit of needs met.

Asking for what we need can be really hard if we have a core belief that we do not deserve to have these needs met. And so, asking for what we need, even if it seems small, is a very simple practice that, when tended to, lets us gradually become more comfortable with our own needs and our right to meet them.

Speaking out in front of others can also be extremely daunting if we are not used to doing it. We judge ourselves before we share. "If I speak, will they think I'm stupid, or will I let slip that I don't know something that everyone else does? What will happen if things go badly?"

While it's easy to doubt yourself into silence, it's not helping you. Speaking out at work or standing up for ourselves and our boundaries can be a powerful way of reinforcing our inner worthiness. We do not need to be funny, or captivating. We simply need to exercise the muscle within us that lets us vocalize what is happening within us. If speaking out at work is challenging for you, for example, then start slow, with a few simple statements or questions here and there.

Ask yourself if there are times when you have no difficulty in expressing your feelings or letting your voice being heard. This could be outside of work with friends or family members. Once you have figured out where that moment lies, ask yourself what you were doing differently then and how you can emulate that in this other, more challenging situation. 

Try to visualize yourself being direct and confident in your communication. What does it feel like? How can you create that in reality?

Why is your voice important? Why is what you have to say worth overcoming your nerves? 

Who or how you are helping by sharing? Who will you inspire and why are your words welcome in the world? How will you be honoring your worth as you do so? As you gain confidence in your why, your voice will reflect the power that you are building within.

If you feel like you are often at a loss for words, try writing down what you're going to say. If the situation is appropriate, remember that it is fine to read your thoughts and feelings - having your statements written down in clear bullet point form gets you out of your head and makes you sound clearer and more concise; not only that, but it lets others know that this is important to you and you have put some thought into it.

If you need to get clear before sharing something big, try first with people or in environments that are lower in risk, or where you have a strong support system. Visualize what you want to say before you say it. See your listener nod in assent as you confidently and competently articulate. Witness the shift in your own mind as you rehearse the outcome. 

Create your confidence by taking action and speaking up. By sharing your thoughts, you are inspiring others by speaking up. 

The freedom

To ask for what I need

To express my emotions

To be me.

Exactly as I am.

JIYA JULIA

Jiya works in the field of self-empowerment, particularly through creative expression, helping people to identify their challenges and fulfill their full potential.  A founder of international organization Kula Collective, Jiya offers her retreats around the world.