Ten Essentials for Holding Space
Space-holding is a vital part of living consciously and creating compassionate community, and, when done well, truly has transformational power. As conscious beings, we are "creating space" everywhere we go, casting our invisible circles like fairy rings around us to support journeys of self-inquiry and understanding. Knowing the ins and outs of holding space is something that comes with time and lots of applied awareness, but while it may be a journey, there are some basic ground rules that unfortunately are often overlooked.
1. Set Intention
Sacred space means creating a space - a clear and open environment, grounded in a strong intention; that is sacred - respectfully maintaining the strong boundaries that keep the environment profoundly safe and pure to that intention. Generally, this means a zone surrounded by the invisible boundaries carried and observed by all parties present. It is helped by us, as leaders, being as clear as possible with our intentions and as respectful and present as we can be with our attention. No matter which field we are working in, sacred space usually means the intention is set for healing and connection, for everyone to be free to open and express in the way they need, as they are heard: fully and without judgment.
Sacred space can easily be manipulated, whether intentionally, or as a result of ignorance, misguided intentions or lack of presence. Needless to say this has the power to really mess with someone’s process and even cause harm to ourselves, others or the space we are in. Whether you teach yoga, hold ceremony, offer workshops or simply offer your presence to someone who needs it, make sure you are aware of the spells you are casting.
2. Be On Time
More than that, be there well before you need to. Give yourself enough time to get in the zone, prepare your space and be present and calm when you greet your people. Your time is your currency here and when committing to serving others, we are committed to be there until the last drops are squeezed. Give the gift of your full attention, and remember what an honor it is to live in the present
3. No Phone
I frequently see space holders turn their phone on silent, and then continue to use it for the clock. This leaves us vulnerable to seeing incoming alerts, and open to unpredictable outside energies. Instead, turn your phone off, or on airplane mode before anyone arrives, and leave it until the space is completely closed. Just recently someone was holding space for me and received bad news shortly after i entered the space. Her energy and countenance totally changed and she became distracted and disconnected, and I found myself turning my attention to helping her instead of focusing on my healing process. Don’t be this person. The phone thing isn’t just about noise, its about energy. When we leave the airwaves on, we are leaving a gateway open, and sacred space asks for all gateways to be sealed.
4. Keep yourself and the Space Pure
So many layers to this one. On an obvious level, it means maintaining a level of cleanliness - with the way we position ourselves, the way we clean up our area, the way we offer ourselves. On a more subtle level, we purify our intentions and conceal no hidden agenda.
We watch for anything or anyone that is misusing the space or not holding the energy sacred. We maintain the highest vibration possible to draw all others up to that level. Use sage or incense to cleanse yourself, others and the physical space, before, after and as often as you need. Don’t be afraid to slice through impurities - this may mean asking someone to stop doing what they are doing, inviting someone to take a more conscious approach, or even asking someone to leave if necessary to protect the intentions you are all holding. You are the gatekeeper - let in only what is of the highest good of all involved. This includes once the space is closed. Creating a ritual to cleanse yourself and the physical space of all that passed is of utmost importance in helping you maintain ability to continue this work.
5. Let go of attachment to a plan
Whatever space we are holding, we likely have a plan for how things will run. However, as anyone who has ever taught a class or offered their ears for listening, plans go out the window when we are in service to someone who needs us. If we’re mid-flow, we may need more time. If the class is full of injuries or tiredness, we may need to re-sequence. If someone is close to a breakthrough, we may need to try a few different things to open up the doorways they need. If we try too hard to stick to what we had planned, we create resistance to what is; when we roll with what comes, magic unfolds. Let your plans be ideas, and open yourself to the beauty of what needs to come.
6. Open yourself to the flow
True space-holding is the art of becoming the hollow bone, as the native American elders would say. We are like a straw, a vessel for divine wisdom to flow through. If we are open to it, we will find that the things we say can be the exact things that are needed for those listening in the moment. The key here is not to let it come from our own mind and ego; doing so can infect the space with something different that is not always invited. I recently experienced a yoga class where the teacher kept demonstrating the hardest versions of all of the poses; instead of taking the opportunity to encourage those of all levels to explore, she used the space to display her own ego achievements and in doing so turned the class from a sacred space for healing into something entirely different that had the potential to do real damage to someone’s practice. On the other hand, I was also blessed in my recent experience by a person who went out of their way to listen to me, and completely let go of their own opinions and experience when responding to what I needed. The difference in the two is obvious.
7. Listen
Active listening is essential; sacred space means everyone involved has the opportunity to go through the process they need to. Greet everyone personally. Pay attention. Look people in the eyes. Listen to someone’s story with completely clear ears, removing all judgment and opinion from your responses and letting the person say all they need to without interrupting or giving advice. Listening has the power to run really deep. Be aware of expressions and body language even when someone is not talking; go beyond thinking and into a state of feeling, tuning into the needs of the space and acting accordingly. Let everyone in your space be seen for who they truly are, and watch as their souls shine in response.
8. Ask good questions
As space holder, your role is to create an environment that draws out that which is hidden. It doesn’t matter what kind of intention your holding - questions are a key part of inviting internal exploration. Rather than ‘yes’ or ‘no’, let your questions be open-ended, inviting enquiry. “What feels true for you?” Create space for people to explore new visions; "what if…?” And keep things in the positive where possible; “what inspires you about this problem?” By asking questions, we avoid advice giving and instead support others to find their own answers.
9. Leave your own story behind
As soon as you step into the role of spaceholoer, your own ego is left at the door. This means anything that you’re going through, any emotions you carry, must be dropped in order to fully serve. People who come to process their own stories don’t need to hear about your journey. The only case I would recommend sharing your story is if you genuinely think that sharing will create a deeper connection between you and your group, or if your anecdote might be deeply relevant and helpful to the particular situation someone is going through. More than that, however, and you risk turning this sacred space into something other than it is, and those who come to heal may end up holding space for you, instead. We all need support - make sure you seek the right space for your own healing process, supported by the expert hands of someone else.
10. Give gratitude
For a space to balance out the energetic pull that healing takes, something must be offered up in return. Depending on the situation, gratitude may be given in different forms to create circles of returned energy. If in ceremony, honor the land and the spirits that protect it. If in a class or workshop, give gratitude to all that helped and all who are present. If one-on-one, offer your sincere thanks to that person for trusting you enough to share their story. Gratitude helps raise the vibration and keep the exchange flowing.
JIYA JULIA
Jiya works in the field of self-empowerment, particularly through creative expression, helping people to identify their challenges and fulfill their full potential. A founder of international organization Kula Collective, Jiya offers her retreats around the world.
